Words Cannot Express.....

I am not ashamed to say that I am a Michael Jackson fan. I have been a Michael Jackson fan all my life. I believed in him, his music and his innocence, and when I say innocence, I mean not just "innocent" in terms of the heinous accusations that were made against him, but his innocence as a person. There is no doubt in my mind that Michael Jackson and I were kindred spirits.
When I saw him on that special, talking about the special tree he used to climb at Neverland Ranch....while everyone else made fun of him for that, I got it. I have places like that too. When I saw the inside of his house, filled with toys and video games, I got it. My house is like that too, though on a much smaller scale.
All of my adult life, when I've walked into a situation where there were adults and children...like a wedding, a barbecue or a picnic, I've always felt much more comfortable hanging out with the kids than the grownups. That's why what I do for a living is such a perfect fit. ...I'm really just a kid in a grown up body, and that's how I always saw Michael. The difference is, Michael was a man and I'm a woman...somehow it's more acceptable for me.
When he was on television, forced to defend himself against the accusations of a bitter and suspicious world, I wept for him. Even though I suspect that most of you who will read this will think me a fool, I wept for him. I knew exactly what he meant when he said, "That's how the world thinks...but that's NOT how I think."
One of the very first record albums my mom bought for me, when I was about 12 years old, was The Jackson Five's Greatest Hits. I had his first solo album....and all his other albums.
I remember rushing home from taking my "little sister" (Big Brothers & Sisters) trick or treating to watch the Thriller video on MTV. In 1988, when I finally went to Disney World for the first time, the only reason I went to Epcot was to see "Captain EO." On my 30th birthday, at about midnight, I was settling into bed. Philip asked me if I wanted to watch a video, and I said "Okay." He put the "movie" in, and I was absolutely delighted to see that it was the MOOONWALKER video that I'd wanted.....over an hour of Michael videos. I raised Emma on that video...she LOVED it!! One of the first songs she danced to was "Black or White..." we loved it how the people morphed in that video. Louisa loved him too, and spent hours perfecting the moon walk.
I was miserable when I couldn't get tickets to his 1984 tour....but I scored some on Ebay to his 30th anniversary show at Madison Square Garden on 9/10/01. I didn't tell Philip how much I paid for them, but believe me, it was worth every penny, and he thought so too. Last night he thanked me for having made him do that. I'm SO GLAD I got to see Michael live. It was the THRILLL of my life.
As a songwriter, I could tell everything I needed to know about Michael Jackson by listening to his music. My favorite song of his was "Heal the World." All you have to do is listen to it to know what a good soul he was. He was all about loving and caring for the innocent and helpless of the world.
Here's a secret you probably don't know...in 2004, when we were on tour in California, I took my family on a little adventure. I'd found out how to get to Neverland on the internet, and we went searching. We drove out on this long road....that seemed like it was going nowhere, until we saw one of those highway cleanup signs that said the stretch of road was sponsored by "MJ."
We finally got to a side road that led to a guarded gate. I got out with a package of my CDs and a note telling him they were for his kids, and the guy in the guardhouse asked me what I wanted. I said, "These are for the Master of the house." and the guy responded that he would see that he got them. There was no sign, nothing to indicate that we were at the right place. You couldn't see the rides or the elephants from the road, but you could feel that it was the right place. I would give my right arm to know if he ever listened to my music and shared it with his kids.
I always thought, in the back of my mind, that one day I would get to meet Michael Jackson. Now I know I won't on this earth, but I'm sure that I will meet him in heaven. In the meantime, he left us a lifetime of wonderful music from the time he was a little boy until now. I know I'll listen to it for the rest of my life.
I could write so much more, but I've got to get outside. I'm planting a butterfly garden in memory of Michael.
Love, Judy