I've been thinking about this a lot, of course. What will it be like to be the one sitting there in the audience as they announce the nominees and waiting to see if it's my name in that envelope. I'm sure my blood pressure will be sky high. For two months I managed to be pretty cool, saying, "Well, I'm probably not going to win, but I'll get nominated again. Now that my work has been recognized, I'll get nominated again..."
But then lately all of the people I see are saying "I know you're gonna win!" and stuff like that, and I'm beginning to worry, because of course, deep down, I really do want to take home that statue. I want to bring it to show all my friends and family and all the people who have supported me. I want to post pictures of it on FB so you can all see it. I want to put it on my mantle and be able to see it every day and think, "Yeah....all these years of making music have been validated in a big way."
I want to show it to the little kids and say, "Look! I got a trophy!"
Of course I do, it's just really hard to admit it, because then there's more of a chance of feeling bad if my name is not called. Even just writing about it here is a risk because I'll look really stupid if they don't call my name. So it's better just to say I don't really care. HA.
As I said, I've been thinking about this a lot. The whole insanity of the nomination....how I dreamed of it when I was young, and how as every year of music has gone by I have felt that I was further and further away from the possibility of it happening. How when I turned 50 I cried all day, thinking my chance had passed and it was all downhill from there.
Every year of music....
And then it dawned on me. Every year of my life I have had the ability and the joy of making music. Even when I was little, before piano lessons, singing was what I did. All the time. My father sang to me when I was a baby and a toddler in his lap, and my mother always had the radio or the stereo on and would sing in her crazy wild way. And I sang with them. My mother bought me my first 45, "Georgy Girl," because I knew all the words from hearing it on the radio. I sang in front of an audience for the first time on the stage in the basement of Notre Dame School in Waterville, Maine. I sang "Those Were the Days." (nobody ever said I probably shouldn't sing a song about a tavern in a Catholic school...ha ha!" I have to laugh thinking of it now.) In my teenage years I went to church with my father and during the hymns he would whisper in my ear, 'Sing louder, Judy...sing louder!" cause he just loved it when people would turn around to see who was singing, and I loved making my Daddy proud.
The point is, I can take no credit for being able to sing, to make music. I can take no credit that writing songs came naturally to me. I can only give God the glory.
There have been miracles in my life, for sure. I'll tell you about them sometime if you want. But I only just recently, with all this Grammy madness, realized that the biggest miracle in my life is that I can sing. That I can make myself and other people happy by singing, and none of it was my doing in the first place. For whatever reason, God decided that I should be one of the lucky ones to get that ability. He gave that same ability to many of you who are reading this, and I've had the sheer joy of singing and making music with many of you. All because of God's grace.
SO whatever happens on Sunday, to God be the glory, because without God's grace, none of this would be happening. I'm not gonna pray that I win, because I don't think that's the kind of prayer God wants to hear. I'll just be thanking Him (or Her, if you will) for what I've already got. I want to remember that, to keep that in my heart, cause even if I come home on Monday without a trophy, I'll still be able to sing. Thanks be to God.
But then lately all of the people I see are saying "I know you're gonna win!" and stuff like that, and I'm beginning to worry, because of course, deep down, I really do want to take home that statue. I want to bring it to show all my friends and family and all the people who have supported me. I want to post pictures of it on FB so you can all see it. I want to put it on my mantle and be able to see it every day and think, "Yeah....all these years of making music have been validated in a big way."
I want to show it to the little kids and say, "Look! I got a trophy!"
Of course I do, it's just really hard to admit it, because then there's more of a chance of feeling bad if my name is not called. Even just writing about it here is a risk because I'll look really stupid if they don't call my name. So it's better just to say I don't really care. HA.
As I said, I've been thinking about this a lot. The whole insanity of the nomination....how I dreamed of it when I was young, and how as every year of music has gone by I have felt that I was further and further away from the possibility of it happening. How when I turned 50 I cried all day, thinking my chance had passed and it was all downhill from there.
Every year of music....
And then it dawned on me. Every year of my life I have had the ability and the joy of making music. Even when I was little, before piano lessons, singing was what I did. All the time. My father sang to me when I was a baby and a toddler in his lap, and my mother always had the radio or the stereo on and would sing in her crazy wild way. And I sang with them. My mother bought me my first 45, "Georgy Girl," because I knew all the words from hearing it on the radio. I sang in front of an audience for the first time on the stage in the basement of Notre Dame School in Waterville, Maine. I sang "Those Were the Days." (nobody ever said I probably shouldn't sing a song about a tavern in a Catholic school...ha ha!" I have to laugh thinking of it now.) In my teenage years I went to church with my father and during the hymns he would whisper in my ear, 'Sing louder, Judy...sing louder!" cause he just loved it when people would turn around to see who was singing, and I loved making my Daddy proud.
The point is, I can take no credit for being able to sing, to make music. I can take no credit that writing songs came naturally to me. I can only give God the glory.
There have been miracles in my life, for sure. I'll tell you about them sometime if you want. But I only just recently, with all this Grammy madness, realized that the biggest miracle in my life is that I can sing. That I can make myself and other people happy by singing, and none of it was my doing in the first place. For whatever reason, God decided that I should be one of the lucky ones to get that ability. He gave that same ability to many of you who are reading this, and I've had the sheer joy of singing and making music with many of you. All because of God's grace.
SO whatever happens on Sunday, to God be the glory, because without God's grace, none of this would be happening. I'm not gonna pray that I win, because I don't think that's the kind of prayer God wants to hear. I'll just be thanking Him (or Her, if you will) for what I've already got. I want to remember that, to keep that in my heart, cause even if I come home on Monday without a trophy, I'll still be able to sing. Thanks be to God.
1 comment:
Wow that was powerful!
Enjoy the night and every moment of it!
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